Thoughts in Shades of Grey
by dustytiger
Summary: A Garcia and Morgan fic, there’s some drama, there’s a case, there’s some more drama, and there’s an ending. Part 8 A happy ending.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Thoughts in Shades of Grey (Part 1)  
AUTHOR: Trista Groulx  
RATING: T, TV14, PG13 aka same as the show  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I am borrowing them to play with then returning the network, creator, writers and actors who respectively own them.  
SUMMARY: A Garcia and Morgan fic, there's some drama, there's a case, there's some more drama, and there's an ending.  
NOTES: this is my first criminal minds fic. I just started watching the show. Please bear with any inconsistencies. I am evil. I like to have cliff-hangers for my own evil purposes. But I no longer post stories before they are more or less done, so I promise all is answered by the end.  
Special thanks to Bonnie for her help being my personal gammar-buster aka bata.

* * *

Morgan smiled when he woke, he always liked the mornings when he woke up to discover he wasn't alone. Garcia was curled up next to him he reached over and ran his hand along Garcia's face gently. She opened her eyes, smiling at him.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," he said.

"Morning," she whispered. "Always the flatterer, Sweet Cheeks."

He smiled at her, then leaned in to kiss her. She moved her hands into his hair, and pulled him closer. She began to run her hand along his bare chest, he sighed happily. She loved waking up with him next to her. She never thought that it would actually happen, and every time that it did she worried it would be the last time, but he always came back to her.

"A girl could get used to this," she sighed, as his lips moved down her collar bone.

"So can a guy," he assured her. "So when are you gonna let me make an honest woman of you?"

Garcia immediately jumped out of the bed, and grabbed the first thing she found to cover herself, which happened to be Morgan's navy blue terry cloth robe. As much as she didn't want this, between them, to end, she wasn't ready to be married. She didn't want to have to see everyone stare at them when they were together, and wonder why a guy like him would be saddled with a woman like her. She just couldn't tell him that, because he would try to reassure her that he didn't see the problem, but she did, and she was worried she always would.

"Come on Penny," Morgan said, getting up, pulling on a pair of boxers. "I think a guy is entitled to ask a woman after he's been – whatever you want to call this, for over a year."

"Derek, I've told you before, I'm not the marrying type."

"What does that mean, exactly?"

Every time he brought it up she would have a different excuse for him. He thought he would be able to understand it better if she would just tell him the truth. He could read a lot of people but Garcia was not one of them, he just knew when she wasn't telling the truth, because she didn't look right at him.

"It means, I was raised by a couple of hippies, who never got married. I wasn't one of those girls that threw a table cloth over my head and dreamed about the guy who would whisk me away from all my troubles."

"That's not what I'm asking of you. I just want to know that we're committed to each other here. Come on Baby Girl there's gotta be a small part of you that thinks about wedding dresses and honeymoons."

"Maybe, but I'm not ready for that yet," she sighed, taking his hand.

"Then can we at least go public with this? I hate lying to our friends like this."

"I'm just not ready for the consequences, soon, okay Sweet Cheeks?"

He nodded. "I don't think it's going to be as bad as you think, but I respect your feelings about this."

"That's one of the things I love about you Derek. You respect me, probably more than I deserve."

"Don't be saying that, I never want to hear those words coming out of those pretty lips again, you hear me? You deserve the world Penny, and when you're ready I'm gonna give it to you."

"You know the only person who I don't want hurt when you call me that."

"You've mentioned that before, but you still let me get away with it."

"You must be someone pretty special then."

As much as he wanted to call her one what she had just said. To ask her why if he was so special she couldn't let everyone know. He decided to drop it, and just play it cool. He didn't want to upset her. It did not need to be brought to a head just then. He pulled her into his arms, playing with the tie of the robe she was wearing.

"Now how about you give me some of that sugar that gets me through the day?" She moved closer to him.

"I thought you'd never ask, Baby Girl," he groaned, pulling her with him back toward the bed, making sure his robe was on the floor again before they got there.

End part 1

a/n: I am aware they could not keep this from the team, but I needed to let the plot bunny work it's way through my brain for sanity's sake. it gets better i promise. reviews make me smile. the parts also get longer.


	2. Chapter 2

TITLE: Thoughts in Shades of Grey (Part 2)  
AUTHOR: Trista Groulx  
RATING: T, TV14, PG13 aka same as the show  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I am borrowing them to play with then returning the network, creator, writers and actors who respectively own them.  
SUMMARY: A Garcia and Morgan fic, there's some drama, there's a case, there's some more drama, and there's an ending. The team gets a case, and Morgan gets a surprise.  
NOTES: Thank you to those who have reviewed, or put this on their alert lists. It means a lot.

* * *

Morgan walked into the conference room, and slid into the closest chair. It wasn't often that he was late, but everything with Garcia that morning meant that one of them wouldn't make it in time, since they had agreed not to go in to work together, so no one would suspect anything.

"Nice of you to join us," Hotch said.

"Power went out last night, no alarm. I'm sorry," Morgan explained.

He nodded. "To get you caught up, we have a case in Little Rock. The unsub is targeting immigrants, of non-European decent. He kidnaps his victims close to their homes, brings them to an unknown location, then returns them home, usually asphyxiated."

"Says here some of the cases show signs of carbon monoxide poisoning, the latest victim died of smoke inhalation," Reid added. "He's disassociating himself with these victims. When you strangle someone you have to watch them, listen to them take their last breath. They struggle with you. When you start using toxins you can walk away."

"What makes you say, he?" JJ queried. "Female serial killers are rare, but females are more likely to use less violence to kill their victims. The fact that there is disassociation as time goes on, which is that it becomes less violent, is far more indicative of a female killer."

"Classically, yes, but there is a description of a likely suspect, masked, seen in the second kidnapping. Reading it all the characteristics lean toward masculine."

Morgan looked at the file, and found the description. "Wearing a black ski mask, stocky build, over six feet tall, blond hair," he read aloud. "That does seem to lean toward a male. This might be obvious, but maybe he's some kind of neo-Nazi?"

"Could be," Hotch agreed. "We need to get to Little Rock, before this guy hits again. How about we talk more on the way?"

Everyone began to stand up, grabbing various case files. Garcia scurried into her office, without making eye contact with anyone. Morgan wanted to go after her, but he had to get ready.

"Morgan, can we talk?" Hotch asked.

Morgan nodded. "What's up?"

"I need you keep this to yourself, but I need your help on this. Garcia told me this morning that she's going to be going on leave in about nine months. I was wondering if you knew why she doesn't want to tell the rest of the team about this," explained Hotch.

"Why would I know why she needs to go on leave?" Morgan asked, trying to act nonchalant.

"I know you two are fairly close. I just thought maybe she told you something she hasn't told me. Assuming she did tell you that she's pregnant."

His heart sank, and his jaw dropped. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed anything different about her. "Pregnant?"

"I guess she didn't tell you. That's all I know, I tried to ask her about who the father was, anything else, and she told me to butt out, that all I needed to know was she would need to go on maternity leave, she's keeping the baby, she's coming back, and she'll make sure that her temporary replacement will be able to access the files they'll need to. You had no idea about any of this?"

"None, sorry I can't help you on this one. I gotta get ready."

Morgan's mind was reeling; he couldn't believe that Garcia hadn't told him about the baby. He knew it had to be his, she might like to keep things quiet but she was loyal to him. He wanted to tell Hotch he did know who the father was, but he couldn't betray her trust that way. She wanted to keep things quiet, so that's what he would try to do. At least by being taken off guard Hotch didn't suspect that he knew anything.

He wanted to go talk to her, but he knew he had to be on the plane, and he didn't want to embarrass her at work**.** He would just have to wait until they got back from the case, and hope he didn't slip while he was on the phone with her. He couldn't believe she hadn't told him, or that he hadn't noticed something different about her.

Garcia watched the team leave, and began to look up files that may help them, trying to find any connection between the victims. She sighed loudly**. **The only connection was they were all immigrants, and none of them were of Catholic decent, but the team already knew that.

As she was searching what mosques and synagogues they worshipped, at a new screen popped up on her computer. She sighed, looking at it, and began to frantically search for any information she could. She gasped when she saw the crime scene photos. She looked at the time**. **It would be safe to call the team now, so she patched herself through to Hotch.

"What have you got for us?" Hotch asked, without hesitating to put her on speaker.

"Bad news," she said. "There's another two victims."

"Two?" Rossi asked, surprised.

"Yes, a couple. They emigrated from Israel twenty years ago, found together in their home by their kids. Primary report indicates smoke inhalation. I'm sending you the crime scene photos now, as well as the information I was able to find on them," she explained**. **She suddenly felt bile rising up her oesophagus. "Sorry to cut this short." The screen showed her pulling off her headset, and getting up quickly, before the transmission ended.

"Maybe you were onto something with that neo-Nazi idea," Reid said, breaking the silence.

"Huh?" Morgan's mind was more occupied with Garcia. "Oh, right, well it could be."

"All of the victims so far have been Jewish or Muslim. He started out asphyxiating them, which was too hands-on, only allowing him to focus on one victim at time. He then experimented with carbon monoxide**. **Maybe he thought that was too obvious, and would give him away, so changed it to controlled fires. It's likely quicker, and he has just discovered he can kill more than one person at a time."

"Which means he has a lot of victims on his list," Rossi added. "If he's working alone he won't be able to kidnap more than two victims at time."

"Racists don't generally like to work alone," Morgan commented. "It's part of being a coward, you need to stand in a group so that no one can hurt you back. This guy is likely looking for people to help him. As sad as it sounds, there are still a lot of people in the world who are full of hate**. **He'll find people to help if he starts looking."

"The more people he gets to help him, the better chance we have of finding him," Hotch added. "I'll get Garcia to see if she can find out if he's looking for anyone to help."

"This is strange," Reid said.

"What's that?"

"With the Jewish victims it's just straight up strangulation, poisoning, depending on the victim, but with the Muslim victims there's signs of other trauma, like he's beating them. This might not be as cut and dry as we're thinking. It's still a hate crime, but there is a lot more to this then neo-Nazism."

"You're right," said Hotch. "We won't know what that is until we land, and start looking at these victims. We have a lot of work to do today if we want to stop this guy from hurting anyone else."

The team all agreed, and continued to look through the files, and information they had. They knew they couldn't do much else until they were on the ground. For Morgan that was the part of the cases he hated the most. He hated waiting to get sink his teeth into everything. He was also having trouble fully focusing because of the information he had gotten about Garcia. Also, hate crimes always got under is skin because of his past. He hoped he would be able to keep it together to find justice for these families.

End part 2

a/n I warned you that I am evil but I hope you like it hehe


	3. Chapter 3

TITLE: Thoughts in Shades of Grey (Part 3)  
AUTHOR: Trista Groulx  
RATING: T, TV14, PG13 aka same as the show  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I am borrowing them to play with then returning the network, creator, writers and actors who respectively own them.  
SUMMARY: A Garcia and Morgan fic, there's some drama, there's a case, there's some more drama, and there's an ending. Morgan's mind is cluttered. Garcia can't sleep.  
NOTES: I need to wait on my bata for the next few parts. She's very busy. But I promise the fic is done. I will not leave you hanging. But I remain evil.

* * *

Morgan was exhausted after a long day of looking at old crime scenes, and interviewing victims' families, and feeling like they had gotten no closer to finding out anything about the unsub's identity. He threw his suitcase on the bed, and began to rifle through it. He had files everywhere, trying to see if anything would jump out at him.

He decided to dive into the case files, looking at the state of the victims. Reid had been right; there was most definitely more trauma to the Muslim victims. He tried to figure out what could possibly make someone who seemed to be a classic fascist be more violent toward another religion. But his mind began to wonder.

He knew that looking at the files was just spinning him in circles. He needed a missing link to figure it all out, but every time he tried to think about what that missing something was he would think about his childhood. Mostly he thought about how cruel people began to be after his father was killed. He decided to put away the case files. He needed to let his mind rest if he was going to be able to work the next day.

As soon as he stopped thinking about the case his mind went to Garcia, and the baby she hadn't told him about. He needed to know why she was keeping that from him, just like she was keeping their relationship a secret from everyone. He knew that he would have to wait deal with that as well. This was not the kind of thing you talked about over the phone.

Morgan was so engrossed in his thought that was startled when he heard his phone chirping**. **He knew from the ring tone that it was Garcia at home. He smiled, despite being confused by the whole situation he knew that hearing her voice would help him shut off thoughts in his head, and he would likely be able to sleep. He pulled off his shirt, before he answered it.

"Hello Beautiful," he said, answering it.

"Hi," Garcia said sheepishly. "I can't sleep."

"What's on your mind?"

"Mostly you and how you're not next to me."

He smiled. "I can't be there with you every night; you knew that before we started this thing."

"I know, but you also promised me that I could always call you."

"Always**. **Today has been hell."

"Wanna talk about it?"

He removed his pants, and climbed into the hotel bed. "All this race stuff is making me think about growing up. It wasn't easy being bi-racial in my neighbourhood. A lot of people teased me. I even had teachers tell me all I could be was a thug when I said I wanted to be in law enforcement like my dad. I just keep hoping that the world has stopped hating, but it's never going to happen will it?"

"No, it won't, that's why we have jobs. Why have you never told me about any of this before?"

"It never seemed important before, I guess."

"Everything about you is important to me, Sweet Cheeks."

He laughed. "I'll have to remember that." He heard her yawn. "How about we try to get some sleep?"

"Stay on the phone with me?"

"Sure."

"Are you in bed?"

"Yeah, what are you wearing?"

She laughed. "I told you before I'm not into that, but if you must know I'm wearing a Wizards t-shirt you left here."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it helps me sleep. Kind of like that tank top you don't think I know you took. How do you hide that from everyone?"

"I wear it under my shirt," he chuckled.

"There's a mental image I won't be able to erase. Seriously though?"

"Everyone thinks I sleep naked, so they always knock, and it gives me time to hide under a pillow, or back in my suitcase."

"You do sleep naked."

"Only with you," he deadpanned.

"Are you serious?"

"Get some sleep, Baby Girl."

"You're not going to tell me?"

"No, it'll give you something nice to dream about."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

His mind wasn't reeling anymore, and he was able to fall asleep fairly easily. There was something about her that always made him feel at ease. He dreamed that night about holding his baby for the first time, with everyone on the team there to meet his son, no more secrets.

End part 3

a/n sorry for the tease it will all work out… eventually… I promise ;) the next few chapters are longer


	4. Chapter 4

TITLE: Thoughts in Shades of Grey (Part 4)  
AUTHOR: Trista Groulx  
RATING: T, TV14, PG13 aka same as the show  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I am borrowing them to play with then returning the network, creator, writers and actors who respectively own them.  
SUMMARY: A Garcia and Morgan fic, there's some drama, there's a case, there's some more drama, and there's an ending. Reid sees something in Morgan's room, but they have a case to get to. Morgan says something stupid to Garcia.  
NOTES: sorry about the wait on this one. It's a longer one so I hope it was worth it. Thank you to all who are enjoying this. It's gonna be eight parts, and I promise it works out in the end.

* * *

Morgan woke up to knocking on the door. He sighed loudly. He hated waking up in strange cities, in hard hotel beds. He quickly shoved the shirt he had in his hands under the pillow, and moved his phone onto the side table, pulling on his robe, before opening the door.

"What?" he mumbled.

"We've got another two," Reid replied. "We've got to get a move on."

"All right, I'll be in the car in ten."

Reid was surveying the room. "Why is there something pink under your pillow?"

Morgan's head swung around, and he noticed that the strap of Garcia's tank top was peaking out from under his pillow.

"I'm hiding a woman in my bathroom," Morgan laughed. "Mind your own business Reid. We need to get going."

Reid shook his head, and left the room. Morgan went over and put the tank top in his suitcase, then got changed, brushed his teeth. He went down to meet the rest of the team at their bureau SUVs.

"I hear you're hiding women in your room," Prentiss laughed.

"I told Reid to keep out of it. It was nothing," Morgan retorted.

"Well, you have been distracted on this case, maybe it has to do with a woman?"

"Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm bi-racial. This is a hate crime. I grew up around people like this, so yes, this is throwing me off. Reid here thought he saw something in my room, and read into it rather then thinking maybe it was bad house keeping. I don't pick through my room before I lay down. I just sleep. We're a team, we shouldn't be profiling each other. Aren't you the one that likes to remind us of that?" He looked right at Reid.

"I know what I saw, but you're right. No more profiling each other. Sorry. Let's just catch this guy already," suggested Reid.

"Forget it then. Let's just focus on the case."

The rest of the team arrived, and started climbing into the two SUVs. They drove to the home of the latest victims. The team piled out of the vehicles and began to look around the home of the latest victims. There was nothing that spectacular about it, just like the other houses they had looked at there was nothing that jumped out at anyone. They were just normal people, who all happened to die at the hands of the same person. There was nothing in this home that would give them what they would need to find out who he was.

"He knows them," Morgan said suddenly.

"What's that?" Rossi asked, putting down a framed picture he was looking at.

"They know him. They have to know this guy. There is only one unsub, he's not looking to get more people to help him. Garcia would have found that. He doesn't want to do this on a larger scale, it's just that he's moved onto couples that he knows. One guy can't subdue two victims he doesn't know in public at the same time without getting caught."

"So now we need to find out if there is anyone all these people know and quickly. He's not going to stop until we find him.**"**

"I'll call Garcia." He took out hisphone**.** "If anyone can find a link between these people it's her."

"Morning lover," she purred into the phone.

"To what do I owe that pleasure?" he laughed.

"Oh, you know," she could tell by the tone of his voice this was an important call. "What do you need Morgan?"

"There's a connection between all these victims, they know the unsub, and you have access to all of their information to figure out how this guy knows them all, and then we'll have him."

"I'll find it. I might need some time."

"You pull this off woman I'll give you my heart."

Garcia smiled. "You've got yourself a deal."

"Hope to hear that sexy voice soon," he said, before he hung up.

Morgan then went back to the SUV and started looking through all of the information again, trying to figure out what he could be missing, as if the information would magically appear in front of him as he looked at the various case files. He needed to have a part in solving this, even if his reasons were entirely selfish. There had to be some kind of clue in the information they already had.

"What are you thinking?" Rossi asked him.

"I'm thinking I know the answer, and I can't get it out of my brain. I am making this too personal. It's bringing up a lot of memories I haven't had to think about in a long time."

"Maybe if you work through that you'll see where his hate is coming from."

Morgan shrugged. "I'll try anything right now. Mind if I talk it out with you?"

"I'm listening."

"So, the unsub is an immigrant. Likely not English speaking European, even possibly of German descent. I know it's a long shot, I might be tunnel visioning, he's first generation German-American. There are still people in the world who deny the Holocaust and try to teach children about that kind of hate. In his home he would hear about hate, and when he was in school they would teach him about tolerance. For years the two balance each other out, until something happens to set him off."

"Just something?" Rossi wondered.

"Not just something, something big, something that would change the way he saw the world, and how it…" He stopped mid sentence.

"What?"

"This is me, not the unsub, this is where it gets personal for me. One day I'm growing up thinking that there is tolerance in the world. That two people of different races can be happy, and love each other and that's normal. Then the next day someone is telling me how wrong it is for my parents to be together, and that I'm an abomination. Just as I'm starting to figure it all out, my world gets ripped apart, and turned upside down, **'**cause someone decides to up and kill my father because of his uniform. If it wasn't hard enough thinking about black and white, then they throw in blue."

"Maybe that's this guy's trigger, too," Reid said, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. "Not the blue part, but losing a parent. It would throw anyone off their game. Sorry to butt in, but we need as many heads in this as possible if we're gonna get this guy."

"We need to put a bell on you man," Morgan grumbled. "Maybe, it could explain why he's more violent with the Muslim victims. He's always been taught that of all the major religions Jewish is the worst, the one that is the most depraved, then one day a Muslim comes into his life commits a sin. He doesn't get punished, so he takes it upon himself to play God."

"We're onto something here. This guy is always looking for his next victim because he thinks he's God. He can make people think that he is tolerant, that he can be trusted, and then he turns on them. He's a devil with a God complex."

"He judges them," Hotch said, joining in the conversation. "But since they are not Christian he has to kill them. Anyone can be an extremist. We are just used to one kind these days. The way he was raised it's the only that they are acceptable, and since his whole world is upside down now, he kills anyone who isn't perfect in his eyes."

"Does he try to convert them?" Morgan wondered aloud. "If they do maybe there is someone who has gotten away from this guy?"

"This guy is too careful to get caught that way. He knows his victims he knows they are not going to convert when he takes them. He knows a lot about these people, more than they think he does, but they still trust him."

Morgan heard his phone chirp, he answered it quickly. "That was quick. Tell me you got something good for me."

"Of course I did, that's because I'm amazing," Garcia cooed.

"I'm putting you on speaker Beautiful, you better behave yourself."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"What do you have for us Garcia?" Hotch asked, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to ward away a headache. Today for some reason their usual banter was getting under his skin.

"I came up with the one place they all have in common. They all get their cars fixed at the same place it's called The Car Doctors."

"That's within fifteen miles of all of the victims' homes," Reid stated.

"How the hell do you do that?"

"Same way you do. I just do."

"How many employees work there?" Hotch interrupted.

"There are fourteen, ten who can be your unsub because they are male," Garcia replied.

"You have to do better than that."

"I got a name only one mechanic has worked on all of their cars, more than once, and for at least a year. Jerry Smith."

"Is that an alias?" Reid asked. "Nothing in the profile would fit him being of Anglo-Saxon origin."

"You're right, sugar, he was born Garrison Czank, his parents moved here from Germany. They were killed six months ago. Hit by a taxi, the driver was never charged because the father was drunk. I'm sending you the address, and everything else I found about him."

"You're a genius Baby Girl," Morgan said. "Marry me."

"Good try Sweet Cheeks. Quit trying. Now catch this creep." She hung up on them.

The team looked at each other, stunned for a moment. They felt like they were in the middle of something private. They began to get into the SUVs, one went toward the unsub's work, while the second went to unsub's home. Morgan Reid and Hotch went to the address Garcia had just given them. Both Morgan and Reid were reading what she had sent.

"Was it Garcia's?" Reid asked, without looking up from his screen.

"Drop it. Please," Morgan said. "The driver of the taxi was Muslim."

"It never went to trial," Reid added. "The officer on the scene was going to pull them over for drunk driving the parents sped up, went through a red light, and was hit by the taxi. The officer was Jewish. With everything else we know about this guy, this set him off."

"Big time," Morgan sighed.

"If he knows we're onto him we're not going to find this guy alive."

"We have to find this guy alive. As good as this team is there are questions only he can answer."

"What could you possibly need to ask him?"

"I just need to know why some people chose to hate those who are different."

"That's not going to change anything," Hotch said. "Everyone has their own reasons; we can see what his were. That was what he was taught because there are people who need to believe someone else. That's why we have religion, and then there's the opposite spectrum, that's what we investigate, that's what we do Morgan."

"It's not because I'm a profiler I need to know this Hotch. I can't explain in. Maybe I should have taken myself off of it, but it's too late now. I need to follow it to the end. That's all I can say."

"That's fair." His phone began to ring.

"He's not here. They said he called in sick today, that he's been doing that a lot of late. It all fits with when we've found the bodies. If we get him today there are no more victims. He's alone, you just have to get him," said Rossi.

"We're here now, we'll get him."

Morgan and Reid were getting out of the car when they heard a gunshot. Morgan went running, breaking into the house. He saw a body on the floor. Reid and Hotch came running after him, and they both began examining the scene, and found nothing to indicate why the unsub had done it.

"You bastard, you better not be dead," Morgan growled.

"He is dead," Reid stated.

"That's it?"

"That's it. No note, no anything. Someone he worked with probably tipped him off. It was easier to face the justice he's been taught about his whole life then having to face the criminal system here that he thinks is contaminated by people who are undesirable."

"So I'll never know?"

"I think you do know the answer, you just need someone else to say it," Hotch said.

"Maybe. I can't wait to get in bed tonight, sleep this nightmare away."

End part 4

a/n: sorry for being evil. It's just the way it happened. But we are half way there. This plot bunny seems to have taken a turn toward suspense and drama. He'll get his fluff back by the end.


	5. Chapter 5

TITLE: Thoughts in Shades of Grey (Part 5)  
AUTHOR: Trista Groulx  
RATING: T, TV14, PG13 aka same as the show  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I am borrowing them to play with then returning the network, creator, writers and actors who respectively own them.  
SUMMARY: A Garcia and Morgan fic, there's some drama, there's a case, there's some more drama, and there's an ending. Morgan does not want to deal with Reid. Morgan needs to talk to Garcia. But in his stressed and sleepy state her puts his foot in his mouth.  
NOTES: the reid part is for my bestie bonnie. the end of this part is one of three parts of the original plot bunny.

* * *

The team were on the jet, on their way home. It was late but no one was sleeping. Morgan was trying to keep to himself, when Reid came over, and sat across from him. Morgan sighed he just wanted to be alone with his thoughts now that the case was over. But he knew that Reid was not going to drop it.

"I know what I saw," Reid stated.

"I'm asking you, as a friend, to drop it," Morgan retorted.

"I just want to know. It's bright pink, really frilly. It looks an awful lot like something that Garcia would wear."

Morgan was tired, and stressed out Reid needed to stay out of his face about the stupid strap he had seen earlier that day. He had tried to ignore Reid, but he knew he would just keep talking until he got a rise out of him. He wanted to tell the whole team the truth, but had told Garcia he wouldn't. He wasn't about to betray her trust like that.

"If keep bringing it up I swear to god I'll slap you," Morgan warned him.

"I don't understand why you're not just admitting this. It's got to be Garcia's. We all see the way you two look at each other, the way you two talk to each other. Why don't you just drop the innocent act and tell your friends?"

"I'm gonna punch you," he growled.

"You wouldn't punch me. It's nothing to be…"

Without even thinking, Morgan made a fist. He didn't want to listen to Reid anymore. He had to shut him up. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts. Before he really thought about it he had punched Reid in the face, connecting with his left eye.

"You hit me," stated Reid, stunned.

"And I'll do it again if you bring up that damn shirt again!" Morgan warned him, getting up and going to a different seat.

"So it's a t-shirt?"

Morgan went to get up from his seat, but knew had already done enough for one day. Reid was quiet then. Sitting there, stunned for a moment before his hand moved to his swelling eye. Everyone was shocked that Morgan had actually just punched Reid. JJ went over to Reid. She began to inspect the damage, carefully, so not to hurt him more.

"You are going to have one hell of a shiner tomorrow," she informed him.

"No one has ever hit me before," he explained. "It hurts. I guess I need to put some ice on it."

"I'll see what I can find. I'll be right back. Don't touch it!" she warned him, moving his hands away from his face, and forcing them into his lap.

Hotch meanwhile had gone over to talk to Morgan, to see if there was something he needed to deal with, before things got worse. He had never seen Morgan react like that, and he knew it had to be more then this case that was bothering. He didn't think he would actually tell him anything, but he had to try.

"What was that about?" Hotch asked.

"I asked him to let it go. He didn't. I'm tired and stressed out. That's all," replied Morgan.

"Something on your mind?" he asked.

Morgan shrugged. "Yeah, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it right now. I am asking you to please drop it."

"Is it about the case? We couldn't have stopped him from doing what he did."

"I know, and it's not that. Not all of it, anyway," Morgan sighed. "I just want something I don't think I can have."

"Sometimes the best thing you can do is just walk away, and hope for the best."

"I don't believe in that if you love someone you have to set it free crap. Besides, I can't exactly do that in this situation. I'm gonna try to get some sleep. Thanks Hotch."

Hotch nodded, and went back to his laptop a few seats away. Morgan meanwhile, lay there, with his eyes closed. He wasn't sleeping, but this way no one else would bother him. Morgan was replaying what he had told Garcia that day and how much he regretted it. He needed to talk to her. He knew she would not be impressed to find him on her doorstep in the middle of the night, not that it was the first time he had done that.

The plane landed, and Morgan grabbed his stuff, glad there were some taxis still available, and climbed inside, giving the driver the directions to Garcia's. He knew he was in no condition to drive. The driver dropped him off, and he buzzed her to let him into the courtyard so he could get into her condo.

"What?" a groggy and annoyed female voice muttered.

"Baby Girl let me in," he mumbled.

Garcia knew that if she didn't just buzz him in he would call her, or find his way in, so she hit the button. She wasn't really in the mood see him after what he had done on the phone. She pulled on a fuzzy purple bathrobe, and slipped into her favourite pair of ballet style slippers, and went to unlock the door.

"I know you profilers keep odd hours, but in the land of technical analysts it's sleep time," she grumbled as he let himself in. "Couldn't this wait till morning?"

He pulled her into his arms, kissing her. "No," he replied.

"Derek Morgan you are insatiable. You wake me up in the middle of the night, after we've both had long days, while I'm pissed off at you, and you still think you're getting some sugar. It doesn't work like that."

"Penelope Garcia, you have a one track mind. Can't a guy come over and want to give a kiss and hold the most amazing woman in the world; who happens makes him feel grounded and like the outside world doesn't exist?"

He didn't even want to talk about what had happened, he wanted to talk to someone who wasn't there about the case. He needed to talk to the person who knew him the best, who would listen, and not to analyse anything.

"Don't try to butter me up after that stunt today. What the hell was that? You think I'd change my mind with an audience?"

"You think that's what it was? It just slipped out. Yes, I want to marry you. That's why I have been asking you for months now, but I wouldn't ask you like that. Penny you know that." He moved his hand to brush her cheek, he needed to touch her, he just needed her close.

She ducked his caress. "No. Derek. Just no. I am tired, and I can't do this again right now. You know I love you, but I am not ready for this to be out in the open. Why isn't that enough for you?"

"That's not what I'm looking for, but why am I not enough? Why don't you trust me?"

"What the hell? Sweet Cheeks, you know I trust you more than anyone else. You know why I want to keep this quiet."

He sighed, he didn't want to talk about this he was too tired. It was too much to talk about the baby he had found out about a few days earlier. He needed to talk about the case, and how much it had affected him. It had been a long time since he felt like this after a case. Then he needed get some sleep with her close by so his mind was fresh to talk about what they needed to talk about. He knew she knew that he knew about the baby, but he wasn't sure she knew he wasn't there to talk about that.

"I know why you kept this quiet, why we have been keeping this quiet. That's not what I'm here about, but if this where you want to take it. Fine. Everything between us has changed hasn't it?"

Her right hand went as if on auto-pilot to her belly. "What, what has changed?" she asked, innocently, going to take his hand with her left. "We'll talk about what you want to talk about."

"Now I can't talk about that right now. You've got me thinking about this. I'll warn you I don't want to do it this way, but you're forcing my hand here. You're not even gonna tell me yourself are you?"

"Tell you what? I've told you a thousand times I don't read people. Don't go all profiler on me. Just talk to me, and tell me what you want me to know."

"All right, do you know what it feels like?"

"Derek. Full sentences, please."

"I felt like someone had punched me in the gut when Hotch told me you'd be going on leave in about nine months. Do you know how stupid I felt standing there, knowing that it has to be mine, and not even hearing from the woman who I made a baby with!? I understand the shit will hit the fan when this all comes out, but have you ever thought that someone is gonna figure something out when you push out a mulatto baby!?"

He immediately regretted his choice of words, he hated that word growing up. It was everything with the case. Then Reid teasing him like he was in high school again. Everything that was going on his mind had made him use that word, instead of acting level headed although he was hurting. He needed to explain it all to Garcia, but he could tell by the look in her eyes, he had crossed a line. Everything had changed in an instant, he just hoped he could make it better, maybe after a good night's sleep..

Her eyes hardened, and she slapped him the face. "Get out of my house!" she snapped.

"Penny, please, I just," he stammered, not able to finish his sentences.

"Morgan, leave, now!"

He knew she was not going to forgive him for this, unless he gave her some space. Maybe Hotch had been right all along. He left, and she slammed the door behind him. Garcia then slumped against the door, lowering herself to the ground and then curled up into herself crying. Morgan wanted to go to her and hold her, but instead, began to walk home.

"Sorry, baby," she whispered toward her belly. "I didn't want him to find out about you like this. I never thought he'd call you that."

She was surprised that he hadn't tried to get back inside, or try to call her. She eventually moved to her bed. She found herself thinking about all those times with Morgan. So she instead decided to settle on the couch. She knew she should have told him about the baby herself, before she told Hotch, but she had been worried about him being more persistent about wanting to marry her. After a good night's sleep she knew she would be able to talk to him. They had been through too much for this to be over now.

End part 5

a/n: all right i know the word is a huge taboo. but it was the original thought that burrowed in my brain. as always i remain evil, but it will be worth it my lovely readers.


	6. Chapter 6

TITLE: Thoughts in Shades of Grey (Part 6)  
AUTHOR: Trista Groulx  
RATING: T, TV14, PG13 aka same as the show  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I am borrowing them to play with then returning the network, creator, writers and actors who respectively own them.  
SUMMARY: A Garcia and Morgan fic, there's some drama, there's a case, there's some more drama, and there's an ending. Garcia is mugged. Everything with Morgan changes in an instant.  
NOTES: lots of drama, you've been warned. Don't worry too much I am evil not heartless.

* * *

The next day Garcia was walking to the store down the block to get some milk before she headed out to work. She had never wanted fruit loops with milk more then she had at that moment. If this was what cravings were all about this was going to be a long few months. She was walking along minding her own business when she felt something against her back.

"Don't turn around," a voice warned. "Just give me your purse."

Her heart was pounding. "Take it, just take it," she said, handing it over to him, she didn't want anything to happen to the baby.

He began to rifle through her purse, finding her ID card. "FBI, well, Lady, we can't have that."

Garcia sighed with relief, thinking that this was going be over. Then she heard him mumble something about the FBI. Sometimes she hated her ID badge. He moved the item away from her back. It was similar to a night stick, and hit her over the head with it. Everything went black instantly.

Meanwhile a passerby had seen everything that had just happened. She quickly called 911. She decided to stay with Garcia while the paramedics came. She tried to get Garcia to wake up, but to no avail. She noticed that the guy had dropped her purse, but not her wallet. She decided to check for the woman's cell phone, hoping to be able to call someone who knew her. The first item she found was some prenatal vitamins.

"Do you know what happened to her?" a paramedic asked, arriving on the scene.

"Yes, I was walking and I saw some guy hit her over the head, and stole her wallet. I just called for help. A police officer went after the guy. I think she's pregnant she has prenatal vitamins in her purse."

"All right, thank you." He began to work on her.

The woman continued to look through Garcia's purse. She finally found the woman's cell phone, deciding to call the last number that she had been dialed. She hated to think this woman would be alone when she woke up after what had happened to her. The phone rang a couple of times before someone picked up.

"Where you at, Baby Girl?" asked Morgan, trying to keep casual, since he was already at work and she was late.

"Um, this isn't who you think it is. The woman that owns this phone was mugged, and hit on the head, she's unconscious. I just wanted to let someone know so she doesn't wake up in a hospital room alone."

Morgan's heart sank. He had never been so worried in his life. He hoped that Garcia and the baby were going to be all right. He wanted to go back in time and try harder to stay with her the night before. He knew he couldn't change anything, but he still felt guilty. If they hadn't gotten into the fight she would not have been alone that morning, and this never would have happened.

"Yeah, she won't be alone. Where are they bringing her?"

"Our Lady of Mercy hospital, do you know it?"

"Yeah, thank you for calling. She's pregnant do they know that?"

"They do," the woman hung up.

Morgan looked at the rest of the team. "Garcia was mugged," he said. "She's on her way to the hospital."

"Are we all going?" Reid asked.

"Yeah, things here can wait until we know she and the baby are doing all right," said Hotch.

"She's pregnant?"

"Yeah, she told me a couple days ago, she wanted me to keep it quiet. But with this happening I'm guessing she'll want us to know in case something happens."

"The baby better be all right, or I'll kill the guy who did this to her," growled Morgan.

"Is it yours?" Reid asked.

"Drop it or I'll make the right match the left Reid."

"Let's just go see Garcia, all right?" Hotch suggested.

Everyone began to leave the office. Morgan's mind was racing. He couldn't believe that something had happened to her. He wanted to see her and make sure that she was doing all right. Everything was a blur as they all went to the hospital. They were all sitting in a waiting room, hoping for some news about her.

"Who's here with Penelope Garcia?" the doctor, seeing six worried face look up. "I'm doctor Bronson. She's doing well, and the baby is fine. She has a head injury but she'll make a full recovery. She's sleeping right now, but if anyone wants to see her they can."

"Thank you," said JJ shaking the doctor's hand. "Do you know if they found who did this to her?"

"I believe they did, that officer over there is waiting for her to wake up, if you have any questions about that aspect, you can ask him."

"All right thank you again."

"I'll talk with the police," Hotch said, going over to the officer.

"I need to see her," Morgan said, going toward her room, JJ following him. "Can I have some time alone with her, please?"

JJ nodded. "Just tell her we're all here for her, okay?"

"I will."

Morgan went into Garcia's room. He was surprised to see her laying there in the hospital bed at first. It always took him by surprise how many wires were needed, even for minor injuries. He hated to see her hurting like that. He went right over and took her hand. He also brushed a piece of blonde hair out of her face tenderly.

"Everyone's here and they're worried about you. I think they might have figured everything out. I'm sorry about yesterday Baby Girl," he whispered, kissing her temple. "I was tired, and wasn't thinking straight. I even hit Reid yesterday that's how not myself I have been since I found out. Then this case, just wake up for me and we'll work this out, okay?"

He felt tears starting to form because he knew she would be upset that everyone knew when she woke up. He hoped that she didn't think he had betrayed her trust. He just ran his free hand along her face, and through her hair. He was lost not being able to see her eyes, and hear her voice. He knew that she would wake up, eventually, but he wanted to talk to her right away.

"You gotta wake up for me. I want to hear that sexy voice. I need to see those beautiful brown eyes of yours. Please Penny."

Garcia's eyes opened, she looked at him quizzically. "No one calls me Penny."

"Come on please don't tell me you're still mad at me. We can't talk this out. This can't be it after everything we've been through. I was tired, and I said something incredibly stupid and offensive. I know that. But we can work this out."

"Honey, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. What in the world can I be that mad over that we're gonna throw away our friendship, sweetness?"

His heart sank. "Friendship? Now we're just friends cause of what I said last night, about the baby? You have to believe me it was just extreme lack of sleep."

Garcia's mind was now racing. She had no idea what he was talking about. As far as she knew they were just friends, nothing more. Why did he look so hurt? Why was he talking about a baby? She knew she would know if she was pregnant, and she was also fairly certain she'd remember if Morgan had had anything to do with making said baby. Her head was pounding, and she didn't know why, now this. She was starting to worry that she was losing her mind.

"Baby? What baby? Morgan stop you're scaring me," she whispered.

"Our baby, I'm gonna go get your doctor." Morgan then left the room in search of a doctor.

Garcia lay in the hospital bed. She touched her head, and felt a bump. How did that get there? She thought to herself. At least now she knew why her head hurt, but not how it happened, nor what Morgan had been talking about. Sure, she flirted with him, a lot, but nothing ever happened between them, had it? She knew she'd remember that, and Morgan was a gentleman so she had to have agreed. She lay down against the pillows, trying to figure everything out in her own head, and waiting for the doctor to tell her what was going on.

"Did you have a good nap Miss Garcia?" asked Doctor Bronson.

Garcia shrugged. "I guess. I'm just trying to figure out what's going on."

"You don't remember?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't. I feel like I went to sleep last night, and woke up here now, and I'm not sure what is going on with me. Am I pregnant or is Morgan trying to make me feel better about something terrible that happened to me?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes, you are pregnant from the information I got from your OB you're about six weeks along, the baby is doing just fine by the way. Nothing that horrible occurred today. You were mugged, and your assailant hit you. They caught him already. But it would seem you have partial amnesia. I guess we're going to have to find out how much you don't remember."

"Amnesia? Now that explains a lot, cause I was starting to think I had lost my mind. I guess I just lost some time, that's okay. It'll come back. Before you start interrogating me I'd like to talk with Agent Morgan, if that's all right with you."

"It's not an interrogation, but yes you may, I'll go request an expert in this field while you two speak." The doctor left the room. "She'd like to talk to her. Just be aware, she's got amnesia and may not remember everything."

"All right," said Morgan, he hated this feeling. "I will watch what I say. But I might have already said too much."

"Just reassure her."

He went into her room, and took her hand. "How are you feeling baby girl?"

Garcia shrugged. "I feel like I've been smacked in the head, which, apparently, I was, hard enough to knock this whole thing with you out of my mind."

"At least he didn't knock out that sense of humour I love."

"Love?" she asked. "You're my best friend Morgan, but nothing more, right?"

He shook his head. "Well I could say yes, but it would be a lie. You'd catch me when you saw that baby in there." He pointed to her belly.

"Morgan I don't remember any of that."

She felt tears coming because she wanted so much to remember, she liked the way he was looking at her, and she didn't want it to go away. It was different then what she did remember, it was more tender, it was more personal now. It wasn't like the way he looked at everyone else she knew that this was something that reserved only for her. She felt a little bit better when he reached out to touch her, and wipe away the tears.

He ran his hand along her face. "Shh, I know, Garcia. I know you're scared. Your doctor will be in a minute and we'll get it figured out, okay?"

"I have to know, does everyone know?"

"They know about the baby now, but no one knows for sure about – us."

"Why the hell not!?" she demanded, raising her voice, which she didn't often do. All of a sudden she felt dirty, and ashamed of herself for thinking that there was something tender there. "Are you embarrassed to be going out with someone like me?"

"Whoa, whoa, I know you don't remember but this wasn't my choice. This was all on you Penny. I want the team to know that I nabbed me the woman of my dreams, hell I want the whole world to know. But every time I've asked you to go public you've given me a different excuse."

"Don't call me Penny. I don't like it. I might not remember whatever is going on between us right now, but I still know you, and you're nothing if not persistent, Morgan. How long has this been going on, with, um us?"

"Just over a year," he replied.

Garcia shuddered. "I don't remember over a year of my life. I don't think I like this. So you know stuff about me that I don't remember telling you. No, I defiantly do not like this one bit."

She hated the idea of someone knowing something about her she didn't remember telling him, even it was Morgan and she knew she could trust him. She had her secrets because she needed them, and now she didn't know what he knew and what he didn't know about her. She began to get agitated. Just then another doctor came into the room.

"I know this is really difficult, memory loss can be scary sometimes," said Doctor LaRoche. "But we're going to help you out. Who is your friend?"

"That's Derek Morgan, we work together," said Garcia.

"Can I have a few minutes alone with Miss Garcia?" Morgan nodded and left the room. "So you work with the FBI?"

"Yes, I'm a technical annalist with the Behavioural Analysis Unit, that's not the stuff I don't remember. It's stuff about him, and well us- that I don't remember. Morgan says we've been dating for over a year, and I don't even remember having kissed him."

"All right, how does that make you feel?"

"Terrified," she whispered. "Fix it."

"Unfortunately it's not the way this works. When it comes to memory loss, especially temporary memory loss it's just a matter of letting it do its thing, and that takes times."

"How much time?"

"Minutes, hours, weeks, months, years, decades, never, it all depends on the person, on the injury, and I can't tell you what it's going be for you."

Garcia fell against the pillows. "I hate this."

"I'm sorry Miss Garcia, if I could make this come back for you, I would. I am just here to explain to you what is going on. If you're lucky once the swelling goes down everything will come back."

"If not?"

"Then it's anyone's guess. Anything may be able to bring it back, or nothing will. As I said it's different for everyone. I'm sorry."

"I think I'd like to be alone." She felt tears flooding over her.

Doctor LaRoche nodded and left the room. She knew this has to be hard on Garcia, and wished she could do more to help. It never got easier to tell people the truth. As soon as she got to the waiting room she was accosted by the whole team, they were all asking questions, and asking to see her.

"I'm sorry she wants to be alone right now. This is a lot for her to take in. She is suffering from a mild form of amnesia. I am hoping when the swelling goes down she'll remember the year and half she can't recall. When she is ready you are welcome to go in and see her. Just be sensitive, this is very traumatic for her."

"So there's no way of knowing when or even if she's going to remember?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah, I wish I had better news for you. She might remember tomorrow and it might not come back. I'm sorry."

Morgan felt like he had been punched in the gut. He sat down on the uncomfortable hospital chair, and ran his hand along his head. He couldn't believe that Garcia might never remember the time they had spent together. He just hoped that even if they could only be friends again that he would be able to be in the baby's life.

"Are you all right?" JJ asked him, touching his shoulder.

"I'll be fine, and no, I don't want to talk about before you ask," he replied.

"If you change your mind you know I'm here."

"Yeah, thank you JJ. So I guess we're all gonna stick around here until we all get to see her?" JJ nodded. "I'll go get everyone some coffee, it might be a while, and I already got to talk to her."

"All right," she said.

Morgan left the room, and went in search of coffee for everyone. He just needed some time to think about everything, without having his friends want to help him. It was much easier for him to be alone right now. The only person he really wanted to talk to couldn't even remember that they were more then friends.

End part 6

a/n: were you expecting that? I solemnly swear it will work out, I am almost done being evil


	7. Chapter 7

TITLE: Thoughts in Shades of Grey (Part 7)  
AUTHOR: Trista Groulx  
RATING: T, TV14, PG13 aka same as the show  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I am borrowing them to play with then returning the network, creator, writers and actors who respectively own them.  
SUMMARY: A Garcia and Morgan fic, there's some drama, there's a case, there's some more drama, and there's an ending. Garcia has a hard choice to make. Morgan loves her enough to accept. There is a happy flashback. Then a Guinness.  
NOTES: i honestly didn't mean there to be two parts about this, it just happened, and it worked. The flashback part bugged me all day at work, so I had to write it. I hope it explains why Garcia was feeling what she was feeling.

* * *

Morgan came back almost an hour later, with a couple of trays of coffee for everyone. He gave them each their cups. He then sat down in the corner, still not really wanting to talk to anyone but Garcia. A nurse came in a little while later, and went right to the group.

"She asked to see Reid and JJ," the nurse informed them.

Reid and JJ looked at each other, surprised that she would want to see them first. They went into Garcia's room. She smiled when she saw them. JJ went over and took her hand, smiling at her. Reid was trying to hide the left side of his face from her. He really didn't want to have to explain this to her, with everything that was happening.

"Sweetheart," Garcia said locking eyes with Reid. "What happened to you?"

"I got a black eye," Reid replied.

"I can see that, but how? Who would want to hit you?"

"Morgan," JJ laughed. "Reid was pestering him about something, and he warned him. Apparently geniuses don't let up."

Garcia laughed. "He actually hit you?"

Reid nodded. "Yeah, I guess I deserved it. How are you feeling?"

"That's a pretty silly question, I feel like I've been hit on the head."

"I never know what to say to people when they are hurt."

"Okay, I understand. I have a question for you. Did he tell you anything about us being together?"

"He's never told me anything. I suspected that maybe something was going on, but that was only yesterday. I saw a pink shirt in his room, and I was asking him if it was yours. He told me to drop it, and I wouldn't that's why he punched me. That's all I know."

Garcia was surprised to discover that Morgan kept a shirt that was likely hers with him when he was on cases. She wondered if she had given him the shirt, or if he had taken it. She then began to wonder what she might have that belonged to him at her apartment. This was not going to be easy. She hoped she would remember something soon.

Garcia nodded. "Thank you," she said. "So none of you knew anything about this until - this happened?"

"No, we had no idea," JJ replied. "I would have thought you would have told me."

Garcia was starting to feel guilty about telling Morgan off for not telling everyone. He hadn't lied to her about this being her choice. She couldn't believe that they had actually gotten away with not telling anyone for over a year. If she wanted everything to be out in the open she would have been talking to her girlfriends about the man her life.

"I'm sorry JJ. I wish I knew why I didn't want to tell anyone. I hope that I remember soon," Garcia said.

"I know, I hope you do as well."

Garcia then hugged her. "Thank you. This is really scary." She began to cry.

"I know, sweetie. I know." JJ tried to reassure her, hugging her tightly.

"I'm gonna uh," Reid said awkwardly, leaving the room.

Garcia wiped her eyes. She wanted to say something reassuring to Reid, but she was hurting too much. JJ was still hugging her, which made Garcia feel a lot better. She needed to feel like something in her life was still normal, and her friendship with JJ was that thing.

"I don't know what to tell him right now," Garcia sighed.

"Morgan?"

"Yeah, I just don't know how we can continue with this if I don't even remember how it started. I know he loves me. I just don't know what I'm feeling right now."

"You need to tell him that. I'm sure he'll understand."

Garcia nodded. "What about the baby?"

"It's his. He has a right to know the baby no matter what you two decide about your relationship."

"You're right. This would be so much easier if I could just remember."

"I know, do you want me to go get him?"

"Yeah, I'd like that, thank you. You're a good friend."

"You're welcome. So are you, don't sell yourself short."

JJ left the room, her head spinning slightly. She couldn't believe that something like this could be happening to her colleagues who were more like family. She saw Morgan still in the corner, by himself, clearly deep in thought. She bent down in front of him, taking his hand gently. He looked at her, smiling half heartedly. It was nice to have human contact when he was feeling like this.

"Garcia wants to talk with you again," she told him.

He nodded, and got up slowly, going into her room. As soon as he went in he locked eyes with her, and he knew that this wasn't going to be easy. He went to take her hand, which he was glad she took. She had tears in her eyes again.

"What's on your mind, beautiful?" he asked. He wanted so much to kiss her but he knew that that would freak her out.

"There's a lot on my mind," she admitted. "Most of it has to do with you."

"What do you want to do about that?"

"I don't think I can be anything more then friends with you until I can remember how this all started."

He nodded. "I'll support whatever you chose."

Tears slid down her cheeks. "I'm sorry Morgan."

"So am I Garcia."

"We can still be friends, right?"

He squeezed her hand, which he hadn't let go of. "Of course we can be, always. That will never change. I promise you."

"I'm sorry," she said, knowing she was hurting him.

"Don't say that. You know I'll always love you." He kissed her forehead. "If you change your mind I'll be here."

"Thank you. I'm not gonna keep you from the baby when it's born, you know."

"That means a lot. I'd like to know my kid."

Morgan's head was pounding, he wanted to cry, but he wasn't about to do that in front of everyone. He was relieved he would still be able to be in the baby's life, but that's not what he wanted. He wanted to be in Garcia's life as well. He couldn't stand to watch her cry and not be able to hold her, or help her. This was just too hard, he needed to leave before he did something he would regret.

"Excuse me," he said, leaving the room.

She went to open her mouth, to ask him to stay. She wanted him close. She felt less anxiety ridden when he was holding his hand. She knew, however, that wasn't fair to him, so she just watched him leave. She hated feeling so helpless. Morgan meanwhile kicked a garbage can, sending it flying down a hallway. The team looked at him, JJ went to comfort him but he ducked away from her. Everyone else decided to give him his space.

"She needs you more right now," he mumbled, then walked away.

He needed to be alone. He went out to his car, and lost it. He just couldn't stop crying. Nothing had ever hurt like that before. He couldn't let his friends see him like that, but he knew he wasn't able to drive. He wanted to go home, have a few drinks and forget about what had just happened. Although he knew that wouldn't help. So he just sat there, until he was able to get his nerves under control. He was glad no one had followed him. He began to think about the night when all of this had started.

_Morgan had brought Garcia with him for a night cap at one of his favourite bars. He needed to get his mind off of work, and she had been around to join him. He was having fun, flirting with a few women, enjoying a few draught beers. He wasn't sure what Garcia was drinking, it was pink and girly looking, and she refused to let him try it. He wondered if she might just be having Shirley Temples, not that it mattered. He was just happy to not drink alone._

_Garcia had gotten up to use the bathroom, and her way back she overheard a group of women talking about Morgan. She knew that she would probably never see them again, but she hated when other women tried to get him. __They were talking about him like he was some playboy instead of her best friend. She didn't like that, and wasn't sure she would be able to hold her tongue when she walked past them again._

"_If that man followed me home, I would have to keep him," a very scantily clad blonde with brown roots sighed, her gaze on Morgan._

"_Sweetheart, I high__ly doubt he would follow you home," Garcia mumbled under her breath. _

"_Did you say something?" the woman demanded. _

_Garcia stopped, considering __just walking away. But she had never been the type of person to back down. Especially when it involved her friends. She locked eyes with the woman, who had so much make up on she wondered if she had a face under there somewhere._

"_Maybe."_

"_Care to repeat it?"_

"_Sure. I doubt very much that my friend is going to be following you home."_

_Morgan noticed that Garcia was looking quite angry with a woman across the bar. He decided to make his way over before she said something she might regret. He sighed he had tried to avoid that group of women since he had arrived at the bar. They looked like a bachelorette party of bimbos. He went toward the group. He was surprised to hear what he overheard._

"_And I doubt your__ gorgeous friend would touch you with a ten foot pole," the woman said snottily. "Who would want someone with those fake nails, pig tails, and a big fat ass, when he can have a real woman like me?"_

"_Baby girl, is there a problem over here?" Morgan asked._

_He moved behind Garcia, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. That felt good, he thought to himself. Garcia looked up at him, beaming with delight. Her eyes were sparkling. He had never seen her look so radiant before. How had he never noticed he wanted more then just to flirt with her?_

"_Um, not anymore__," she replied, surprised to feel him so close. He smelled so good, she thought. _

"_You have to be kidding me," the woman growled. "Guys like you don't do anything women like her."_

"_What the hell does that mean? It looks like she is with me." He gently kissed the back of Garcia's neck, sending goosebumps up both their arms.  
_

"_Fat freaky chicks don't get to date gorgeous guys like you. Pretty boys like you deserve to have women like me on their arms."_

"_Hasn't anyone told ever told you real women have curves? Besides, I'll take class over cleavage any day. I don't want a show piece I want a woman. Now if you'll excuse us." He put his hand on the small of Garcia's back, and lead her back to where they had been sitting._

"_Thank you, but why?" Garcia asked, shocked. _

"_I hate women like that. Rail thing, and bitchy I like real women. Like you." He gently ran his hand along the side of her face gently._

"_Well I'm glad to hear that," she murmured letting her eyes slip shut for a moment. She secretly wished those women were gone when she opened her eyes. It didn't work. "You know they're watching us, right?"_

"_Then why don't we give them a show?" _

"_A show?" she squeaked out, before he got so close she couldn't make another sound._

_He moved over to her side of the booth, getting as close to her as he could. He pressed up against her then covered her lips with his. Garcia was shocked, but gladly accepted the assault. She let a tiny moan escape her mouth, which she prayed no one else had heard; this seemed to encourage him. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him as close as she possibly could. She pulled away a few minutes later, breathless. She smiled at him, her eyes now wide with shock, but still sparkling. She couldn't believe this was actually happening._

"_What was that?" she asked. _

"_Gorgeous, if you don't know what that was, we have to have a very serious talk __before we start moving forward. I have to admit I am a little disappointed, from those phone calls you like to make I thought you knew your stuff."_

_She laughed. "Don't be smart, sweet cheeks. I do know my stuff, don't you worry about that. You know what I mean. Was that just for them?" _

"_No. It was mostly selfish my technological temptress."_

"_Good. So when do I get to make a quivering mound of man meat of you?"_

_He ran his hand along her hair line. "Now my __voluptuous vixen what makes you think you can make me quiver?"_

"_Well unless I am very sorely mistaken I could feel how happy little Morgan was from just a kiss Sweetness." _

_A small giggle escaped her mouth, followed by a blush. His hand began to dip dangerously lower down her the line of her shirt. He stopped what he was doing when she said that. She looked at him puzzled then she pouted at him innocently.  
_

_"You might scare him away if you call him little," he whispered, right against her ear; he felt her shudder then heard that tiny moan again._

"_Sounds very promising. We don't want that__ now do we?" she asked, walking her fingers from his collar bone to his belt. "You better not just teasing me. Cause you'll never get the chance get your socks knocked off again."_

"_I sincerely hope you are planning on knocking, or pulling__, off a lot more than my socks off."_

"_I plan to once you give me the chance."_

"_Be careful what you wish for. There is no phone line to hide behind now Garcia."_

"_If I'm going to have you screaming, you better not be calling out my last name big boy. If you follow me home I can show you a thing or two Derek Morgan." She moved in to kiss him again._

"_You know Penelope Garcia that sounds a lot like a challenge."_

_She smiled, taking a sip of her drink, her eyes locking with his as she sucked on the straw. Morgan thought he might just die right there in the bar, the way she looking at him, teasing him. He was already figuring out a way to get her back for that move with her straw. He had never felt so challenged by a woman before, and he loved it._

"_Are you man enough__ to accept said challenge super sexy Agent Morgan?" she asked, once again sipping her drink, trying to look innocent._

"_Is that what you think SSA stands for?" he laughed. _

"_I like to think so. Are we going to my place now?"_

"_May I ask, why do you have home court advantage?"_

"_Cause it's closer, and I know there are some fun things to play with there."_

"_You don't think I'm going to be enough for you to play with?__ That hurts Garcia. I have a few tricks up my sleeve which are gonna make you a very, very happy woman. Possibly one with laryngitis"_

"_Someone sounds sure of himself."_

_He pinned her under her on the booth's bench. "If you're not careful I'm going to have to show you right here right now what a man who does more then tap keys can do to a woman."  
_

"_My god__, get a room," muttered the woman from earlier. _

"_Let's get __out of here," Garcia whispered._

_Garcia was trying to move away from him, but he was strong. All that police and FBI training would defiantly come in handy later. As much as she liked the moment they had been sharing it was now over. He ran his hand along her hair line. He looked into her eyes, and they seemed to have lost their former shine. He hated that that woman had upset Garcia so much. He was now more then ready to leave. He nodded, taking her hand in his, leading her outside. _

"_Why did you let that woman get under your skin__, Beautiful?" he asked, when they were outside, and he knew the woman hadn't followed them._

"_Cause I have had to deal with those kinds women my whole life. Girls like me don't land guys like you. It just doesn't work that way."_

"_Funny, I thought you were taking me home."_

"_Am I?" _

"_That show in there wasn't for them. I told you that it was entirely selfish. I'm sorry it took an idiot like that to make me realise just how I wanted this." He leaned in and kissed her gently this time. _

"_If we don't get a cab soon we are going to get arrested," she giggled. _

"_As much as doing this in public could be fun, I think we should wait for that."_

"_I agree completely. I do not want to be interrupted the first time I get to have my way with you Derek."_

"_That would pretty much suck, Penny."_

"_Penny?" she queried. _

"_I'm sorry. I thought this wasn't the time for some smart ass nick name. I'll just call you Penelope."_

"_It's all right. I like your smart ass nicknames. They make me all fuzzy. Normally I'd want to unleash the plague on anyone who calls me that, but from those sexy lips, I like it. You my handsome hunk of man meat may call me Penny."_

"_Then that's something we will keep just between the two of us."_

"_Deal," she said. "For now can we keep all of this quiet?"_

"_Sure, if that's what you want. It's going to be hard to keep this from a bunch of behavioural analysts you know?"_

"_I know, and when we know for sure that this is going in the right direction then we'll come clean. I just don't want to have to deal with anyone like them again for a long time."_

Morgan sighed as he snapped back to reality. Garcia didn't remember that night, or any that had followed. He was afraid she never would. He wasn't expecting the truth to come out their friends when she got amnesia. He had thought that she would finally let the cat out of the bag the first time he proposed. But she was still worried about the way people would look at them, and nothing he could say or do had reassured her enough to make her want to go public.

Morgan felt tears forming again realised he might not have the chance to ask her that question ever again. He hoped she would forgive him when she remembered, but after the stunt he had pulled he just wasn't sure what the future would bring. He hoped that memories were not all he would have of her. He knew he would never find another woman like her.

He was surprised to find himself pulling up to his apartment. Glad to be safe. He went inside, and began putting away everything that would remind him of Garcia. He looked around, he was glad they had spent most of their time at her place. He saw some pink candles and a cat figurine she had left there, he put them in a box to return to her. Morgan then went into his suitcase, and removed the pink tank top he had. He went to put in the box, but he was not ready to let go of it yet. He folded it gingerly then put at the bottom of his sock drawer.

He then went to fridge and pulled out a bottle of Guinness. He opened it, looking at it for a long moment. He knew it would not make the pain go away, and he would likely have a rough day the next day. But he hoped a few night caps would make him forget that she was not going to be waking up to feel Garcia's blonde hair tickling his chest. He took a good swig of the drink, not even bothering to transfer it to a glass.

End part 7

a/n: I think Morgan needs a hug. I am almost done being evil I promise. Flashback scene dedicated to Emzypemzy for inadvertently inspiring it. You rock fellow author :)


	8. Chapter 8

TITLE: Thoughts in Shades of Grey (Part 8)  
AUTHOR: Trista Groulx  
RATING: T, TV14, PG13 aka same as the show  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I am borrowing them to play with then returning the network, creator, writers and actors who respectively own them.  
SUMMARY: A Garcia and Morgan fic, there's some drama, there's a case, there's some more drama, and there's an ending. A crossword puzzle help Garcia remember, fluff ensues.  
NOTES: I might be evil, but I'm also somewhat lazy too, cause I couldn't keep the amnesia up. This is more like an epilogue really. I was going to be uber evil and put another case in this but I decided against that.

* * *

It was killing Morgan that he couldn't see Garcia like he needed to. But this was the way she wanted it, until she could remember everything that had happened between them. He loved her enough to respect that. Things were getting back to normal, more or less, but there were days he wanted more. He missed going over to her place after a long case. She would always get mad at him for waking her up. But he knew she was glad not to be alone another night. He looked at his watch it was it was almost lunch time. Then went into her office, where she was working on a crossword puzzle.

"Hey, baby girl," he said. "Care to join me for lunch?"

"Yeah, in a minute, I just want to finish this up," she said, reading another clue.

"Sure, I can wait." He stood in the doorway.

"Mulatto?" she mumbled.

Then she felt a wave come over her, and a flood of feelings, and images were washing over her. She moved her hand over her head. Her head was pounding, but somehow she knew that it would all be over soon.

"Are you all right?" Morgan asked, concerned.

"Yeah, could you give a minute?"

"Sure thing," he assured her, stepping out of her office, wondering what had just happened.

Garcia meanwhile just sat there for a long moment. She hadn't expected it to come back like that. The doctor had warned her that any word of feeling could set her off; had it ever as memories and moments with Morgan began to become clear again. She just wondered what it was about that one word. All of a sudden she remembered the fight they had had before she was mugged. She wasn't mad anymore they had been through so much since then.

She smiled, slightly. It wasn't going to be all right until he knew that she remembered everything. She could tell that the last three months had been hell on him, yet he was still always there for her as a friend. She poked her head out of her office. She needed to be in his arms, and she didn't care who knew anymore.

"Hey!" she called to Morgan. "Sweet Cheeks!"

Morgan had not heard her call him that in a long time. He was so surprised he just stopped dead in his tracks, stunned. He wanted to go over to her, but his feet were frozen. Before he knew what was happening he found himself greeted by an armful of Garcia. He smiled it felt good to have her so close again. She smelled so good. It felt right to have her in his arms like that. He gently brushed her hair with his hand. He felt whole again.

"I missed you too Baby Girl," he said. "You know everyone is here right now. They're gonna know this time."

"I don't care, anymore" she assured him.

"Good, my technological temptress." He ran his hand along her face tenderly.

"My handsome hunk of man meat," she whispered to him, before covering his lips with hers.

The team stopped what they were doing for a moment, looking up at them, for moment. Then they all tried to look away from the slightly awkward situation. Things were getting pretty heated between the couple. One of Morgan's hands was in her hair, and the other was on her belly. Garcia meanwhile had her arms wrapped around him, one on his ass, the other rubbing his back.

"I love you Penny," he whispered, pulling her close, and resting his head on her.

"I missed that. I love you too, Derek." She smiled at him. "You know that thing that you kept asking me?"

He nodded at her, hoping that she was talking about what he thought she was talking about. He didn't want to get his hopes up too high. He had carried the ring he bought her with him, mostly to keep him grounded through everything. So that he knew he hadn't imagined the time with her. But now she remembered. Maybe it hadn't been a waste of his time to carry it with him for the past three months.

"I think I'm ready to say yes now," she whispered. "That is if you still want me."

"Really?" he asked, his eyes lighting up. "I will always want you, always."

Garcia hadn't seen his eyes sparkle like that in a long time. It felt great to see that again, it felt like it had been a lifetime ago. It felt even better to know she had something to do with it. She smiled at him, the kind of smile that could light a room. That smile Morgan loved. Garcia then reached out and ran her hand along his face to make sure that what was happening was real.

"Yes, really, as long as you never use that word to describe our baby ever again."

"I promise, I'm sorry about that real baby," he said, looking down at her now protruding belly.

"Real baby?" she queried.

"You didn't go and find out what we're having and finding a name without me did you?"

"I know what we are having. I'll tell you later, when we're alone. I would never name the baby without you," she assured him. "I told you that you were going to be part of the baby's life."

"Right now I don't know what we are having, or what we're going to name him or her. I can't call the baby it, so real baby works."

She let out small laugh at that. It made her feel good that he cared so much about the baby already. She then gave him a cockeyed look as he stood there patting his pockets while they spoke. He caught her gaze. He smiled sheepishly at her, not really wanting to have to explain this to her before he found it. He had to have it with him. He hadn't let it out of his sight in months.

"I'm sorry. I'm looking for something." He was starting to get worried, and a little frustrated. "Now where is that box?"

"Box?" she asked.

She felt butterflies in her stomach. She wondered if he was going to ask right there in front of everyone. In all the times before he had never had a ring with him. This time was going to be real, and she was thrilled. Part of her was still scared, but she knew she was ready to be fully public with it.

"I was hoping maybe one day it would come in handy," he said, pulling out a small velvet box. "Looks like it has, so let me ask you this once again; Penelope Garcia will you please let me make an honest woman of you, and marry me?"

Garcia's jaw dropped, she had been expecting it, but she was still shocked. She smiled at him. Morgan had just proposed to her, right there in front of everyone. She was glad he hadn't gotten down on one knee. She always thought that was antiquated. He was just holding her hand gently in his. Morgan opened the box, and presented her with a white gold ring, with a small band, and a few small coloured diamonds. Garcia smiled then nodded at him, unable to speak. He very carefully put the ring on her shaking finger, almost dropping it due to his own unstable hands.

"It matches me," Garcia beamed, her eyes sparkling as she stared at the ring.

He nodded. "Of course, why would I get you something that didn't match your colourful personality? I want you to like wearing this for about the rest of your life."

"Good, I do want to wear it for about that long."

He moved in closer to kiss her gently this time. She blushed a little, knowing everyone had seen everything. He pulled away and touched her cheek gently, when he heard the team clap; as if to say it was about damn time. He laid his head against her forehead, just smiling at her. He knew she was getting overwhelmed by everything. Morgan hoped he hadn't made mistake by asking her there, and making her feel forced into saying yes.

"Ready for lunch now?" he asked her, feeling a little overwhelmed. He wanted to be alone with her.

"Yes, I am. We have some things to talk about."

"How about you two take the rest of the day off?" Hotch called to them. "If something comes up we'll call you."

"Thank you," Morgan said, glad that he would be able to have some time to talk with Garcia without getting interrupted.

The pair left the building, and got into his car. He took her hand gently in his as he drove. She looked at him, smiling half heartedly. What had just happened hit her all of a sudden, and she felt a little fatigued. He suddenly felt like he had missed something. Had he said something? Had she remembered something else that would change everything again?

"Are you all right?" he asked, concerned.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm just tired all of a sudden. I want to have my way with you when we get to my place, but I think I'm just going to crash."

"That's all right, really. I'm pretty beat myself. It's been a long time since I've gotten a good night's sleep."

"I'm sorry for not trusting you sooner."

"You had your reasons."

"Yes, but they weren't enough to treat you the way I treated you. Especially after what you did for me the past three months. You were miserable because I asked you to give me my space."

He shrugged. "You needed it. You didn't even remember anything about the two us. I probably would have done the same thing. It's okay."

"Do you want to know why I didn't want to do this sooner?"

"If you want to tell me, yes," he assured her.

"I was embarrassed."

"Embarrassed?"

"Of myself," Garcia admitted. "I kept thinking that people would look at the two of us and wonder what a guy like you was doing with a girl like me. I didn't want to have to have to explain myself every day."

"What changed?"

"Nothing really, I still think people will always be looking, and wondering about us. But you did something for me that terrified you, and you thought you would never be able to do. So I love you enough to do the same for you."

He leaned over and brushed a piece of hair from her face, as they pulled up to her place. "People can give us dirty look. They can even say stupid things. But at the end of the day we go home together, and we're happy. You are the woman I want, no one else, I want that ring to remind you of that every day of your life. Just like that night in the bar, when we first started this thing, I am choosing you because you are real I am done with fake women."

"Thank you for that. Maybe if you keep telling that it will erase all the vile things people have told me in my life."

""I will do just that, my voluptuous vixen," he said, puling up to her place.

She smiled at him she loved when he called her that. "Why did we come here?"

"I like it here. It helps me escape. I'm just not adorable enough to get away with dressing the way you do, and putting figurines all over my office."

She giggled. "I would die if I saw you wearing anything I own. How about we go, home?"

"Home?"

"If you want to if you're comfortable here, and we're going to get married. I'll get you a key so you don't have to wake me up in the middle of the night anymore."

He followed her inside. He smiled nothing in there had changed inside there. It was decorated to match her and he loved it. He made himself comfortable on the couch, while she poured them each a glass of orange juice. He looked on the table, and saw a framed sonogram picture. He picked it up examining it. He knew it was a baby, but he couldn't tell what anything in the picture was.

"Is that our baby?" he asked, placing it back on the table to take the juice. "Thank you Beautiful."

"Yeah, I wanted to tell you when we were alone. It's a girl. I'm sorry you missed the first appointment."

"It's all right. We were in a strange place. But I promise you I won't miss anything else. A girl, I'm gonna have a daughter? Wow."

"You're happy with that?"

"Penny I'm happy as long as we end up with a healthy baby, honestly. I guess we need to think of names?"

"I want her to have your last name."

"All right," he nodded. "There is one name I've always kind of liked for a girl. What do you think of the name Serefina? It was my grandmother's name. If we use that, you get to pick the next name?"

"I do like it, but I'll hold you to letting me pick the next name. I always liked the name Grace, but that could be her middle name."

"Serefina Grace Morgan? I really like that."

"I think it's perfect. That was a lot easier then I thought it was going to be."

She could feel the baby moving a little. At first it had been a little unnerving, but now she liked the feeling. She then grabbed his hand, and placed it on her stomach. He looked at her confused for a moment. Then his eyes got wide, and a goofy smile formed across his face. He couldn't believe that this was real.

"Can you feel that?"

"Yeah, wow. That's the baby? I didn't know I'd be able to feel her so soon."

He couldn't believe that he could actually feel something moving inside of her. It was almost unreal to think that that movement was a baby. A daughter, no less, who was his and Garcia's, he was a little overwhelmed, but thrilled at the same time. He just kept his hand on her belly feeling something moving in there, it was surreal. Garcia smiled at him reassuringly. She liked that he was now involved in this. It had been lonely going through it alone. She was so happy that time was over.

"Yes, that's Serefina," she whispered. "I wasn't sure if was strong enough for you to feel her yet, but I'm glad that she is."

"Maybe she's trying to tell us she likes the name?"

"You know I think she might be. Or she could be happy that her daddy is finally here."

Morgan smiled. "I'm gonna be someone's daddy. Wow. I didn't think I could love you any more then I already did. But I do."

She leaned over and kissed him. She then took his hand, and lead him to the bed silently. He followed her, then laid down, bringing her with him. His hands went back to her stomach. He smiled, and laid there a moment. As much as he wanted to do more he was exhausted, and he knew she was as well. They both fell into the first restful sleep they had gotten in about three months.

The End

a/n: I hope you enjoyed what my plot bunny borrowed into my brain. As promised everything worked out in the end. Serefina means "burning fire" it fits for a mini Morgan-Garcia, doesn't it. Thank you very much to everyone who took the time to leave a review, add this to their favourites, or just to read it. I think that should answer all the questions.  
Thank you for reading and enjoying my humble fic hugz to all of you. - trista


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